I experience music in a much more intense way than some people do.

I need to beat a drum to keep my heartbeat in my chest. To keep my thoughts from descending to chaos away from the beat of the world.

I realize this sounds a little, you know, hippie in a drum circle, but so what? The people who hate drum circles are only the ones who aren't in them, and, in a way, the entire world operates on the same principle as a drum circle. Christ. I need to stop talking about that now, if only because I'm weirding myself out.

And now there's a whole new emotional depth to any music I choose to listen to. So, sure fire cry song: where are you now - wynn walent.

Then we've got to wrest it back from the brink, so we'll try a classic: John Wayne's Teeth - Eaglebear Singers.

And then, if you're feeling up for another bout of weeping, try this on for size: See You Soon - Coldplay.

I keep contemplating making a playlist. One that would make me feel enough, but not too much. But this is a bankrupt notion for a couple reasons. 1) It wouldn't work. I don't have anything that consistently doesn't make me cry yet. And 2) I would never be able to listen to any of these songs again.

That will probably happen anyway, but still.

When I'm not listening to music, I'm memorizing poetry. I just need to have some fucking rhythm right now, at all times, or I feel like I'll lose track of... something vital.

I don't grind my teeth, but the dentist says that beating them in constant rhythm is just as bad for them.