...crash.
Yep, there it is. Oof.
Man I just want to eat everything in sight, but apparently not as much as Terrare, the French showman and soldier who was perpetually hungry and, um, ate a cat. Alive. And many, many other gross things.
Wow I want more marshmallows.
But that's not what I brought you here today to talk about.
I came here to talk about Presidents and Mounties.
OH MAN THAT IS THE MOST AWESOME NAME FOR A BAND or BUDDY COP SHOW in the history of forever. That is golden. Presidents and Mounties. It would star Teddy Roosevelt, chomping into a delicious ham, and Superintendent Steele, and maybe John Muir would join them for epic romps. It would be like Due South, only with ham. And possibly a power ballad.
No, wait. Maybe Due South had a power ballad. I DON'T KNOW THESE THINGS.
It did have a wolf as a sidekick. Presidents and Mounties would have a moose. Like so!
I have some friends who say that image is photoshopped, or, more accurately, edited in whatever way they edited photographs back before photoshop existed, with, like, a knife or something. HOT DAMN if that's true I don't know what beauty is anymore.
Still my favorite Colbert line of all time: "If truth is beauty and beauty truth, then America, I look AMAZING tonight! This is the Colbert Report!"
What were we talking about?
Right, marshmallows.
So the clouds today were flipping insane. I came home to greet the plumber and as I was leaving I clearly WALKED INTO THE CAVERN between the high pressure and the low. Everything to the north of me was pitch black with roiling purple clouds and everything south was hazy and bright. As I walked down the street, leaves blew in ominous patterns around my feet and the wind whipped and screamed. An older lady looked at me and said, "Are you ready for what is going to come?" and I couldn't tell if she was talking about the weather or some kind of heinous apocalypse. The way the clouds were looking it honestly could have been either one.
Just as I got to my office building on the seventh story of the 1300 block on the street where the President lives, the heavens opened up and poured down a steamy flood.
And the temperature lowered about 5 degrees. It was so hot.
So the clouds today were flipping insane. I came home to greet the plumber and as I was leaving I clearly WALKED INTO THE CAVERN between the high pressure and the low. Everything to the north of me was pitch black with roiling purple clouds and everything south was hazy and bright. As I walked down the street, leaves blew in ominous patterns around my feet and the wind whipped and screamed. An older lady looked at me and said, "Are you ready for what is going to come?" and I couldn't tell if she was talking about the weather or some kind of heinous apocalypse. The way the clouds were looking it honestly could have been either one.
Just as I got to my office building on the seventh story of the 1300 block on the street where the President lives, the heavens opened up and poured down a steamy flood.
And the temperature lowered about 5 degrees. It was so hot.
I think I'm going to do as many push ups as I can.
Okay, I'm back. I did 20. But 15 of them were girly push ups. Maybe I'll be able to do more tomorrow.
Chances are slim, especially if I don't eat quite as much sugar.
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